Little Johnny: Neighbor's Baby

Little Johnny's neighbor had a baby.
Unfortunately the baby was born without ears.
When the mother and baby came home from hospital Johnny's family were
invited over to see the new born child.
Before they left their house, little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and
explained to him the baby had no ears.
He also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's
missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the beating of his
life when they came back home.
Little Johnny assured his dad that he understood completely.
When little Jonny looked into the crib he said, "Oh, what a beautiful
baby".
The mother said "Why thank you Little Johnny".
Jonny said "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes"
"Can he see o.k"?
"Yes" said the mother, "we are so thankful that the doctor said he will
have 20/20 vision".
"That's Great" said litttle Johnny, "cuz he'd be f***ed if he needed
glasses.

Little Johnny and Politics

Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father, "Dad, what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow."

The father thought some and said, "Okay, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let’s say that I’m capitalism because I’m the breadwinner. Your mother will be government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, Dad, I don’t know, but I’ll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Johnny was woken up by his brother’s crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper.

So, he went down the hall to his parent’s bedroom and found his father’s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn’t wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. Because he couldn’t do anything else, he turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now."

"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"

Little Johnny thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future’s full of sh*t."